Wet Job

For a mutant survivor of the Accident, my life was charmed (still is, and we’ll get to that): had a steady job, at a time when oh-so-many did not due to the world and their own bodies suddenly and dramatically changing. Great place to live, with no trouble signs on the horizon in terms of the landlord (now more of a landlady, but that’s another story) nor anything else. Best of all: Dani’s and my love! True, we were barely a couple weeks into coupledom, but as with everything else, all signs were that it was going to continue and remain wonderful as far into the future as we cared to imagine.

Great?: absolutely! Perfect?: no. Perfection is a myth, in my opinion—an often harmful one at that. Dani continued to do far more than she needed or i wanted her to, in terms of struggling to be the perfect homemaker. Her occasional frustrations leaking out around things which would have been trivially easy for her to do with her former body which had become Not Possible stabbed me like daggers. Stubborn B (and i mean B in the sweetest way) that she can be, she most often ignored my gentle suggestions that she let the impossible things go, for either myself to easily take care of, or no one to bother with.

She and i both knew that she wasn’t meant to be a homemaker, despite being a very good one: with all her skills, talent, wisdom, and more, she needed to be doing bigger and better things… or at least something else. Something closer to formal work outside a domestic setting. I admit feeling guilt about having a job which, while tedious and at times frustrating, was suited to me and got me out of the house and amongst other people, and having no ideas regarding how to get Dani into anything like that. My company wasn’t hiring, nor had i heard of any job opportunities i considered worthy of my amazing Love.

Possibly worst of all: horny slut that i am (since mutating), every night i forgot all about this as soon as Dani and i were fucking (or undertaking whichever other alternate forms of sex we felt moved to pursue). Non-mutant gentlemen (and women of the cis cock): never before this point in my life could i so readily relate to the “dick for brains” phenomenon: having one’s mind partially or fully blanked out from all the blood flow diverted from the head, making a mighty cock mighty hard. Imagine how that works for me, having two of them doing that at the same time (almost always). I salute you, and respect you, more than you know! Curvy bottom line: i was little use helping my Love hook up with suitable employment.

As is often the case, that all changed at a very unexpected time and place.


That was Dani. She and i were once again blissed-out doing what had become our favorite (besides sex) weekend activity: floating in the ocean.

“I’m such a pontoon.”

“You are. Four of them, in fact” i replied with a giggle, reaching out both arms to grope her other nearest two besides her right front upon which i was currently riding.

Other than perhaps sex and/or cuddling, nothing made Dani happier than floating in the water. Beyond question this was her core competency in her mutated body: she was now built to float. It always impressed me the way tension melted out of her, dissipating into the ocean, every time we went for a float. It had become a requirement—weather permitting—for us to make time for it at least one day every weekend. With more mutants gradually adjusting to their and the world’s new normal, and with my work schedule requiring coming out on a weekend day, it was starting to get more crowded at the beach. Optimal vitamin D absorption/synthesis was midday: 11 AM to 3 PM for Daylight Stupid Time, or 10 AM to 2 PM for Standard Sane Time, approximately. This also tended to be the warmest part of the day, and the most crowded, so sometimes we went earlier. This particular day was one of the earliest we’d ever undertaken: it was only about 8:50 AM.

As we floated peacefully in our early morning reverie, out of the corner of my eye via my peripheral vision, a nearly-forgotten familiar form was heading our way.

We both turned to look. I recognized our octo-woman friend from our weeks-ago group beach visit with Mike and Lindy, but not well enough. “Oh, it’s… oh crap, i don’t remember her name!”

“Well i certainly don’t know it, since you never brought her over to introduce me.”

“Sorry Sweets” i kissed her. “Mmmm… Linda? Laurie? Lisaaaa…? Leeza!

I happened to reach this correct conclusion as soon as she was within earshot. “Hi um…. Oh this is embarrassing!: you remember my name and i can’t think of yours!”


“Oh of course yes! Hi Larissa! So glad to see you again! And meet…?”


“Oh yeah yeah yeah—now it’s all coming back to me. You’re Larissa’s honey and vice-versa, yes?”

“That’s the deal” she smiled, daring to lunge a little and kiss me on the cheek. “You look like you’re floating pretty well, but also like you’re treading water a little bit.”

“A little bit.”

“Wrap onto any of my unoccupied pontoon boobs if you want a restful total float.”

“Very kind of you Dani! I think i’ll do that.”

I noticed my Love’s eyes momentarily blipping wide at the sensation(s) of Leeza wrapping a couple of tentacles onto her left front mega-ta.

“Mind if i put a tentacle around each of you up above? I’m in a huggy mood.”

“Go for it” Dani replied, as i nodded along.

It relieved me to see that Dani got along well with Leeza—she could be a touch jealous in terms of me and other women, at times. It was equally nice that Leeza was far less thirsty/sex-obsessed than during our initial conversation, only raising the topic briefly and peripherally one time.

We chatted about all kinds of things, not the least of which was why we hadn’t crossed paths before now, with Leeza needing to be in the water every day and us being out here every weekend. Answer: she always came out early to avoid the crowds, since the beach started getting more crowded. “Some people can’t handle me, despite themselves being mutants” she explained, sighing.

Leeza was incredibly fun to be with, thankfully for both Dani and myself. We floated together for a long time: the better part of an hour, Dani and i later back-calculated. It cracked me up how she alternated between her free tentacles and her arms and hands for gesticulation, once in awhile using both at the same time.

All of us individually at different moments found ourselves drawn to some in-ocean near-shore construction going on in the distance.

“Know what that’s about?” i asked Leeza, figuring she would have seen it before and looked into it.

“Y’know, i’ve been trying to figure that out. We can see from here that they’re pouring concrete, and when i’ve looked more closely, it seems like some sort of water break or in-ocean isolated tank or something.”

“Have you asked them?” Dani asked.

“No one’s been working when i’ve been out on the water, before right now today. Shall we go find out?”

We agreed Yes, and all started paddling, until Leeza said, “No no; i got this”.

With seemingly no effort, she used most of her tentacles (other than one each holding me and Dani) to propel us all as a floating unit over the water parallel (approximately) to the shore, ever-closer to the in-progress project.

Keeping in mind that at this point it had only been somewhat over 3 months since the Accident and we and everyone we knew continued to struggle with coming to terms with our new, permanently-altered reality, you’ll understand how dazed-amazed i was being comfortably carried through the ocean at something like 10 knots by a mutated creature who was a very friendly, intelligent, pretty woman up top and more or less a strong beast of a giant octopus down below. The motion-generated breeze blowing through our hair is a sensation i vividly remember to this very moment. All this work and Leeza barely seemed like she was even breathing hard!

Taking in the several mutated construction workers was worth the closer look in and of itself.

workers constructing the pool

The individual we saw holding the end of the concrete deposition hose had a hugely fat belly that showed little interest in being contained in his? her? hir? their? clothes. Their thick black mustache suggested male pronouns, though their fat boobs packed into their overalls suggested otherwise. It was even more startling to see a whole other breast around the size of any one of Yasmin’s nice full ones under the person’s arm where their armpit should be, when they lifted their left arm to scratch their head. All of this with a very flat butt made for an interesting package. Then we noticed the third rearward-facing leg, which the person put to good use for greater stability working the hose.

A person with no middle body whatsoever and no arms used their 3 well-booted feet at the end of their extra-long legs (which raised them up to normal non-mutated human height) to kick cinderblocks over to another worker building a wall, across from the concrete pour. I admit to squeaking slightly seeing the recipient pull down his/her/etc. pants and look like they were about to take a dump where the newly-kicked-over block was about to be placed. That’s indeed what happened, other than what appeared to be Portland cement came out of the person’s curvy feminine wide fat-hipped butt, rather than brown matter. To this day i still don’t know exactly what that’s about!

Cement mixer putty-putty, eh Sheen?” the multi-boobed pourer called out over the noise to the cinderblock layer.

Yeah” a clearly feminine voice responded, her cement flow interrupted by some splashy butt gas putty-putty output.

The block layer’s flatus was nothing compared to the sonorous sounds directly approaching us from shore through the middle of the project, drawing all our attention. I first noticed the individual’s big, thick, cascading bright orange-red below-shoulder hair flying every which way in the breeze of her rapid motion towards us. Big boobs were common now, including on cisgender males, so seeing a pair as big or bigger than mine (minus the nippledicks) or Estelle’s biggest pair was no especial surprise, nor gender-informative. Presentation would have indicated female, other than the very bushy mustache of the same bright red hair color, and some androgynous details of the person’s face. From a distance the big, thick upper arms suggested someone who worked out, more likely male. A closer look as the individual drew nearer with the characteristic wobbling of subcutaneous body fat in motion suggested as much fat as muscle.

The truly outlying stunning physical attribute of this person drawing ever-nearer was their biggest part, or parts: a series of very fat, wobbly butts and adjoined hips encircling them. This lower half of them looked for all the world like a giant tangerine made up of butt sections, and of human skin rather than fruit pulp and so on. The diameter of this surprisingly symmetrical flattened globe was roughly double the person’s upper body width, itself by no means narrow. Other than a big bikini bra top, there was no visible clothing—odd for an active construction zone.

Two arms, two big breasts, normal-appearing upper body atop the butt globe or center-filled toroid… not all that severe a mutation (visibly on the outside).

Easing to a standstill near the pourer, this person loudly called out in a higher-pitched feminine voice, “How’s the pour, Lila?

Smooth and steady, boss” was the reply, with a wink towards the one who asked, then another towards us.

E not O for that second letter!” the boss pretended to be annoyed, planting their hands on the set of their hips nearest by.

Boss Bess is the best boss, don’tcha think, Sheen?

You know it, Lila!

VREEEET! Incoming!” the armless cinderblock kicker whistled, garnering butt-cementer Sheen or as we very soon learned Sheena’s attention. I was blown away how this person could loudly whistle in a manner which for me and everyone else i knew required one or more fingers in our mouths, and do so with no fingers visible.

Have what ya need ta keep laying cement, Sheena?” Boss Bess asked.

I’m gonna need another big, thick bentonite-gravel shake soon as i finish this course.”

Broc and beans?

Nah, propellant’s more than good” she replied as she received the next precision-punted cinderblock.

Boss Bess farted her way (apparently out of her center rear butt) out past the end of the completed construction, to us at the edge of the open ocean about 10 m away. “Hidy howdy hody ocean lovers!” she greeted us, able to speak slightly softer away from the construction noise. “Nice day to be in the water, inn’t it?”

“Almost every day is nice for floating in the water, in my world” Dani forthrightly declared.

“You and me both, sister!” Bess high-fived her, converting it to a handshake, “Bess Blum, titular head of Besst Construction—that’s B E S S T” she explained, using her hands to smash her breasts into her face as she said “titular head”, “formerly an all-woman company, before things got complicated.” She further blew at least my mind using her hands to spread her right front side butt cheeks apart, revealing an embedded and lengthened penis about as big as either of my own nippledicks.

She shook the rest of our hands as she continued explaining, “I do most of the managing and oversight since mutating into a less-than-useful fat blob—which i love, by the way, though my new body has reduced my hands-on construction utility versus team heroes Lila, Fiona, and Sheena. Reality was and remains we’re all peers in our employee-owned small construction company. Small in the sense that we four are nearly all of the headcount, not that any of us individually are small” she ended with a small, apparently unintentional peep fart. “So what brings you all over here today, with so much beautiful ocean and coastline to enjoy?”

“We’re curious what’s being built here” replied Leeza. “And i’m curious why i haven’t seen anyone actively at work here until today, when i’m out here every day more or less around this time.”

“This is destined to be our community’s forthcoming public pool. In terms of your second question, we’ve been starting closer to 9:30 or 10 in the morning and only working weekdays, until word came down yesterday from the city that they ‘found’” she air-quoted “more money and are gently pushing for opening up sooner.”

“Why a pool in the ocean?” i couldn’t help asking.

“As you’ve likely read or heard, our leading health authorities have determined that the majority of us since mutating do better in salt water than fresh water, and moreover, there are too many reactions to common water disinfectants like chlorine. The point of cordoning off some of the open ocean is to establish a safe space where there is some water treatment and wave isolation, but mostly the amenities that people want or need which are available at public pools, but not out in the natural ocean. Showers, toilet facilities, changing rooms, food, fresh drinking water—all that and more.”

“How many pools in this facility?” asked Dani.

“Just one.”

“This big?!”

“Look at us, any of us within view: most of us are bigger than we or most humans were before the mutations, in one or more dimensions.” She slapped several of her fat butts, getting them in wobbly motion, obviously from her expression enjoying doing so more than i would have imagined. “Bigger people need a bigger public pool.”

“What’s the current planned time line?” i asked.

“No matter how fast the city wants it, it can’t open for at least a month, and realistically it’ll be 2 minimum. 28 days for our concrete pour you see happening today to fully set. After about a week it’ll be strong enough for us to build up the superstructure, which will have more cinderblocks and take its own time to cure. Plumbing and electrical and other subs will come in soon as they can, but that won’t be until all the structure is built and has cured enough to support their bodies and equipment. Functional testing and AHJ approval add more time.”


“Authority Having Jurisdiction. City’s building inspector for the overall project, their electrical inspector for electrical, et cetera. City’s so excited about getting this facility up and running that i hear that they’re already listing jobs for this place, starting something like this coming Monday.”

Dani and Leeza both perked up, hearing this. “What kind of jobs?” asked Leeza.

“Everything: swim instructors, concessions, janitorial. City’s website’s job listing section is where it’ll be, i’m quite certain.”

Bess pulled out a plastic food container from under her big left boob, opening it up and digging in. “Sorry (crunch, crunch). Fuel (munch, crunch). Raw cucumber & broccoli with garlic dip if you want some, being forewarned that it’s optimized for intestinal gas production, which is how legless mutated me gets around.”

She munched and crunched some more, with Dani taking a sample. It will be kind of you not to ask how that worked out a few hours later once we were home (phew!).

We all chatted another couple of minutes before Bess needed to be on her way, surprising us with one last move: pulling a clear thin plastic document sleeve out of her left front butt crack. Rinsing it and her hands, she opened it up and handed us each a paper(!) business card. “Proof positive that i tend to pull information out of my ass” she quipped. “Any one of my asses, actually, though this one and my right front tend to be easiest for document storage.”

I really wish Dani hadn’t asked “How does that work in terms of propulsion?”, but she did.

“Not so well. When i need to go opposite either of those directions—rare, but it happens—i need to pull out whatever’s in there first, for optimal motive force.”

{Pleeeeaaase let this work out} i remember thinking. Never had i seen such fire in Dani’s eyes, as for the possibility of getting some sort of in-water job at the new pool. She checked the city’s website’s job listing section at least 5 times between Sunday afternoon and going to bed Sunday night, in hopes that the new listings were in some sort of automated release queue. No such luck.

Monday morning was another matter: on her third attempt, at 7:01 AM, the new listings were live. By 7:03 AM she was already typing furiously.

“Did you even read it through?” i asked.

Yes” she hissed, obviously annoyed. Not for one second did she pause her fervent typing, much less take her eyes off the screen.

“Alright, alright” i patted her on the shoulders, as partial apology and to get a look at what i could of the listing, and/or her application.

She made an eloquent case for herself for several positions:

“Far be it from me to rain on your parade, but how as a swim instructor are you going to teach the flutter kick, for one example?”

“We’re dealing with mutants, ya sexy mutant!” she honk-squeezed my nippledicks, exciting me more than i was prepared for. “What makes you think that even half of them will have legs?!”

“OK OK OK… juuuussst wanting things to work out for you.”

It was difficult not to laugh at the sudden slippage of meals, especially dinner: from home-cooked extravaganzas to perfunctory throw-togethers. To Dani’s credit, she kept things homemade and fresh, rather than manufactured prepared as i used to often have, living on my own.

“Does this spaghetti come with any sauce?” i struggled not to grin too widely as she rolled up to the table and i sat down.

“Aaaaaghhh! I knew i forgot something!”

I was already up, “Olive oil works for me. How about you?”

“Bring out the pre-grated parmesan-romano too, please.”

“You got it, Girlfriend.”

Every day of waiting to hear back from the city was another day of immersion for Dani, learning all there was to know (available online) in terms of being the perfect swim instructor, recreation guide or director, pool safety monitor, lifeguard, etc. She excitedly shared so much of what she was learning (and already knew) with me when i was home from work, i became almost qualified for some of the positions myself.

Two weeks plus a few hours after submitting her application, Dani received the news for which she’d been hoping: a job interview! Needless to say (or write), she told me all about it soon as i was home.

“Which position?” i asked.

“They didn’t specify. I’m ready for all of them!”

She was. Thoroughly.

“You sure you don’t want me to take you?” i asked my Love, the morning of her Interview Day. “Or at least go with?”

“They need to see me at full strength” she boldly announced, thereafter planting a full-strength kiss on my mouth.

I knew better than to get in the way of a force as powerful as Dani once she set her mind to something. “OK” i smiled. “I’ll get going to my work, and out of your way.”

🎼 They’re big and rouuuunnd

They’re all arounnnnnd 🎼

I’d been expecting a text from Dani at any moment, so i looked at her text the moment i heard the custom text tone i have for her.

To: Dani Devlin

DaniDevl: Got it! Much to share!

LarLar: Dinner out?

DaniDevl: Nah, i’ll be too noisy. Be home on time for pizza!

LarLar: You’re not going to scratch-make us pizza this late in the day, are you?!

DaniDevl: Correct: i’m not. Sicilio’s. I got this.

LarLar: K

DaniDevl: BFN 😙

LarLar: 😘

My 5th. slice of Vegarama pizza was as great as the first.

Dani hardly had taken a bite of her first slice, too busy relating the excitement of her day. “So that’s what-all they asked me and how i responded, as the first to be interviewed! And as i was leaving, you know who was second?!”

“I just can’t–”

“–Leeza! And i stayed around until after her interview and signing on and we’re working together! At least on some shifts, or maybe an overlap. Depends how many people they hire.”

“Awesome! So you’re hired too, then?”

Oh yes! How could they not?”

{Overexcitement, perhaps?} i kept locked tightly in my mind. “Which position?”

Ev-ree-thinnng! That’s why i and Leeza were shoe-ins! Well OK, bad analogy or metaphor or colloquialism or whatever, but you get it, don’t you?!

“Oh absolutely! So tell me more.”

Did she ever!: hours of sharing every little detail of the experience.

My take-away: my Dani had a full-time job she expected to love, working with or shift-adjacent to an acquaintance of ours as much into this line of work as Dani herself was.