Pool Talent

{You people have no idea what a good deal you’re getting} i remember thinking to myself, watching Dani work harder than i did, at home without getting paid, furthering what studies she could do via reading, related to her forthcoming new job. Looking at what was on her screen made me ask, “How did you get on the Peoria Poolies discussion board?”

“I’m not. Read-only; no account. Anyone can do that.”

“Just because it plays in Peoria, does it have any relevance here?”

“Human behavior is human behavior. They’re mutants, we’re mutants. Most issues are the same, other than their fresh water versus our salt water.”

By no means was Dani just sitting around at home, waiting for the pool facility construction and outfitting to finish: every day she wheeled herself out to the ocean, leaving with me when i left for work so we could walk/roll together then peel apart around 9th. and Hennepin where our destination paths diverged. She’d meet up with her new co-worker bestie Leeza, who to this day has no trouble carrying amorphous and somewhat hefty honey Dani with 2 to 3 of her strong tentacles, easily able to move both Dani and herself with not even all of her remaining 5 or 6.

Leeza later told me how much she appreciated how Dani would give her a shoulder massage as she carried them out into the water, starting to catch up with each other since the day prior. I witnessed this myself on weekends when i joined them, usually walking beside them other than when super-octo-woman Leeza wanted to show off and carry me in addition to Dani, in a couple of her other tentacles. I almost teased her about her labored breathing when she did this, holding back on account of her competitive nature and how had i said anything, she’d likely have tried holding or quieting her breath, possibly to all our detriment.

Once in the water, Dani’s tension always melted swiftly away, whilst Leeza’s healed via the hydrobiochemistry her body needed to function. I know via both of them that every day they practiced different scenarios they expected to encounter or might encounter, in their various roles at their forthcoming job. They appreciated having me there on weekend days, so i could role play a local mutant citizen they were/would be helping. My candid feedback they told me was helpful.

Via Dani i know that on weekdays they’d sometimes solicit participation from other beachgoers for similar practice sessions. One evening, she excitedly told me of a real-life near-shore ocean rescue she and Leeza performed together: a highly rear-end-windy mutant who couldn’t swim unexpectedly farted themselves off the deck of a small pleasure craft being piloted by a friend. She didn’t explain what about this person’s mutation made them sink like a stone, but that was the situation.

Leeza glid over to the scene like a shot: she glides smoothly and swiftly under water, when all her tentacles are bunched together trailing behind her. As well, she easily uses them for fast propulsion. Dani paddled as fast as she could, trailing aways yet closing the gap every moment. Leeza had no trouble whatsoever wrapping one of her strong tentacles around the middle of the stricken individual, easily and bodily lifting them fully out of the water, setting them down gently atop Dani’s just-arrived huge front boobs. Dani executed CPR whilst Leeza kept the person from rolling off. It wasn’t long at all before the person’s lungs were clear and they were in recovery!

Word of the rescue quickly spread from the on-duty (and preoccupied with other business at the time) life guard to the head of parks & recreation about the on-deck soon-to-be department employees already doing what would be their job on their own for no pay out on the open shoreline-adjacent ocean, doing so well.

Department head Serena Parks came out to meet with them in-person and thank/congratulate them the following day. When she was telling me about this, Dani mentioned that Ms. Parks initially looked like an un-mutated BBW, other than what appeared to be a bandit’s bullet belt encircling her waist. Closer inspection revealed that rather than any sort of belt, these were a ring of medium-small penises with scale-appropriate scrota, tending to do a circumferential group sine wave up and down cycling. Obviously both Dani and Leeza were more focused on their department head’s head, along with handshakes expressing deep gratitude for their spontaneous life-saving rescue.

Keying off Dani’s and Leeza’s excitement, Ms. Parks sensed an opportunity. She returned the following morning with all of a big banner; plastic-coated paper business cards in larger containing plastic envelopes like construction manager Bess Blum used; and 2 soft, colorful beach towels with the city logo. She also had some temporary work documentation for the two of them to sign: they were being paid to start part-time work early out in the open ocean, as construction continued! Hours were theirs to set freely; she encouraged them to continue with their existing impromptu morning practices as the timing felt good to them.

Word quickly spread that a couple of scantily-clad (actually, Dani was outright nude when in the water) sexy mutants were advertising the forthcoming new community pool and handing out business cards. I saw this with my own eyes that Saturday morning, getting a good video of Leeza waving the banner high over her head with two of her rear tentacles (the outboard ones, i think), simultaneously grinning and hand-waving at passers-by. Later in the morning with the sun beating down more intensely, Dani had the banner spread across her front boobage. It says a lot that her huge front boobs had (and still have) enough area to fully display a 2 m × 1 m banner.

I think people wanted the business cards as much for enjoying the process of obtaining them as anything about the cards themselves or the information upon them. Leeza kept her 2 boob cleavages packed with them, pulling out one at a time then attaching it to one of those springy black metal and silver clasp thick stacks of paper clips, the clip itself clamped onto a flat, wide maroon hair band she wore around her center right front tentacle. As with her other tentacles, she could easily stretch it out and reach far enough to hand the card to someone on the shore at water’s edge, remaining in the water herself. This blew many people’s minds, despite their being mutants themselves, often more severely mutated than Leeza herself. Far from being slimy, and having no cephalopod suckers/suction cups, her nice, warm skin surprised many who felt it, more so the affectionate way she’d often caress them over the distance with its end as they claimed the card.

One one-armed gentleman she considered cute flirtatiously kissed near the end of her tentacle before she retracted it, after claiming his card. He loudly gasped in shock as she wrapped the lower thicker stronger part of this tentacle around his waist, bodily lifting him through the air and holding him just above the water as she brought his lips up against her own for the proper mouth kiss she preferred. The sight of his wedding band followed by the staring laser beams from his approaching mutant wife’s eyes turning sand castles into glass right in front of them incited her to quickly replace this gentleman on the beach. I might not have believed the laser beam eye mutation had i not witnessed it personally with my standard human eyes. Her beams were very much in the visible red part of the spectrum, and dangerously powerful.

Another guy she fancied got a tentacle ride out to be up close with her and personally extract his card directly from her right (left, to his viewpoint) boob cleavage. The chemistry wasn’t there between them to take anything further, though they did have a good time with this brief moment of intimacy.

Dani made people get at least a little bit into the water to collect a business card from her: she laid them out atop her front boobs (when the banner wasn’t upon them) as she floated as near to the shore as she could without running aground. (Leeza and her tentacles helped Dani out with this shoreline positional regulation.)

“I have no words for how grateful i am to be near you and your record-breaking huge nipples and areolae” commented one card recipient (Dani later told me). “Is there any chance that i might ever be able to kiss and/or caress you there?”

“Certainly not out here in public, nor at McGorkin Pool when it opens” she replied. “Let’s get to know one another better over time, and we’ll see how i feel about it in some weeks or months.”

Satisfied, he briefly consensually squeezed her hand, then floated off.

As the construction, outfitting, and inspection process dragged on, Dani and Leeza were already in business out in the open water. Children’s swimming lessons and some other activities were too risky or not possible (no markers/barriers/boundaries for swimming laps, for example), however basic recreation like floating along atop Dani or practicing beginner swimming strokes held safely by Leeza were absolutely possible, and already happening.

The chance appearance of some sad and slightly bored young children with their mother opened up a new manifestation of Leeza’s Recreation Guide, Child position.

“Hiiiiiii!” she called out and waved, floating over and coming ashore, currently having nothing else to do. “Why so sad?”

“Ms. Scarfy the Storyteller’s out ill today from the library” one of the exceedingly wall-eyed children, presenting as and sounding like a girl, responded.

“No stories of mutant glories!” her younger brother, equally extremely wall-eyed with eyes at the corner of his face like his sister’s, cleverly alliterated (beyond what is typical for his young age).

Their mother looked more disturbing to Leeza: her eyes were down on each edge of her cheek(s), with her mouth around where a nose would typically be and her nose up on her forehead. Other than these facial mutations, outwardly the 3 members of this family looked like standard humans. “At least it’s a nice day to be out on the beach, meeting new people like our new squid-woman acquaintance.”

“Hi, i’m Leeza” she smiled, shaking the mother’s hand and handing her a business card. “Has anybody counted how many tentacle arms i have yet?” she directed at the children.

One-two-three-fooouurrr!” the little girl ran around screaming, tapping each of Leeza’s front tentacles as she enumerated them, doing her best impression of a punk rock singer of the distant past named Poly Styrene, whose band X-Ray Spex’s songs her parents liked to play.

Not to be left out, her brother was already running around counting out the other tentacles, “Five, six, seven, eight! Eight is an octopus!, not a squid, Mommy!

“I stand corrected” she sheepishly smiled. “Now how about we take our voices down a notch, and continue on our way?”

“If you all have the time, would you like to hear The Undersea Adventures of Walter Wall-Eye?”

Yeeeessss!” the children shrieked together, jumping up and down.

I wasn’t there, so this recollection is all via Dani and Leeza herself. Dani noted that the family all took off a layer and were in their swimwear, with Mrs. Widner (the mother) flashing a significantly wobbly fat domed belly and love handles, along with thick thighs and boobs just slightly too big for her bikini bra top. As she said at the time she told me all this: “Total mom bod”.

Leeza explained during the relating of this then-news that she completely made up the story on the fly, impressing both myself and Dani greatly, as Dani made it clear that it was a long story that kept the children enraptured as they sat cuddled into Leeza, wrapped comfortably in one tentacle each. The gist of it involved all the (perceived by Leeza) advantages of being severely wall-eyed, swimming down underwater with fish who tended to have eyes on the sides of their heads.

As with the rescue, word spread. Well before the pool opened, Story Time with Leeza the Friendly Octo-Woman, for all Water Babies and Children, was already a thing.

The opening of the new ocean-adjacent salt water McGorkin Pool made a big splash in our community—HAAAH! I couldn’t resist typing this 😈. And yes, everybody was excited and wet… from being in the water in the new pool, fool! I swear dear reader, you’re as pervy as i am (since the mutation)!

Few if any were more excited than Dani. She, Leeza, and their new peers Jep (concessions, e.g. food) and Jan (janitor) welcomed local government officials and the general public opening day: a Thursday. I chose to take the day off from work to be a part of the festivities at this event, so important to my Love. While mostly happenstance, theoretically Thursday gave everyone a full 2 days of operation before the anticipated weekend crowds. What i still believe those in charge failed to consider is that disruption from the Accident and all the mutations even to this day as i type your way continues to disrupt people’s ability to function, especially to work, and thus business and commerce. In other words: far more people than those in charge anticipated had the day free, and thronged their way out to the new pool.

I wound up being a de-facto auxiliary Recreation Guide, directing people to the changing rooms, restrooms, steps down into the pool, etc. It still to this day amazes me how so many of the mutations we’ve all experienced involve genitals and secondary sex characteristics. It was difficult keeping my nippledicks tamed, seeing many sexually enticing mutant bodies. I’d worn my usual go-to-beachwear: my udderly cow-rific bikini with my loose-fitting summery light cotton attempted-modesty overclothes. For reasons i’m not ready to discuss, all these were tighter than appropriate, thus more revealing than desired, or originally designed.

It was inevitable that Dani would entice me out of my outer layer and into the pool. Really i had little to no need for concern, given all the other people more worthy of eye time—absolutely including Dani herself. As with other mutants past a certain size of profound in one or more dimensions and/or unable to function if covered up as would have been societally-normal prior to the mutations (e.g. the Boobs, who couldn’t eat, breathe freely, nor see if fastened into a standard bra or bikini bra top), Dani was allowed to go nude in the pool despite her shockingly huge, sexy boob nipples and areolae because few reasonable tops would fit her, or if they did, would stay in place. I wasn’t the only one present with nippledicks, though mine were the biggest i saw in both length and girth by a safe margin.

What people wanted on this opening day more than anything from Dani was a restful float holding onto any one of her amazing pontoon boobs. She was glad to oblige and everyone was well-behaved.

While Leeza did have some adult hangers-on, most of them were moms of children in contact with her. She was (and is) a natural with children: they love her and feel comfortable around her; she loves them (most of the time). Having had plenty of time to think about it and do storytelling out on the open ocean where the loud breakers would sometimes impede the quieter moments of her recitations, she had it all worked out where the quietest shallow-end area of the pool was, which was where she set herself up and did her thing.

Dani, Leeza, Jep, and Jan all worked the entire day, opening through closing. Feeling generous, i invited them all out to dinner together. Jan did well passing things around with her multiple arms. Jep’s ability to hold two separate conversations at one time via her two mouths on the same singular head (each aimed about ±60° off horizontally from the usual mouth location) impressed me.

It was a great opening day—no question.

Dani’s and my life changed even more, with her spending nearly every day from early morning through dusk at the new pool (or on the way to/from): i was now in charge of our meals, and often she wasn’t home in time to help milk me. I didn’t so much mind the meals, and it was my own fault for never having gotten around to getting my milking machine fixed. In my defense, given how in love we were and how much we loved milking me together, i failed to foresee the need.

I’m hooo-ooomme!” she called out upon arrival, the first Tuesday after the pool’s inaugural opening.

In the bathroom milking” i called out over the distance in reply.

She rolled in on her flatboard moments later, already nude and eager to join in.

What we call her flatboard is a custom-sized variant of a low-to-the-ground mechanic’s crawler board or creeper board, sized to easily hold all of her and still fit through our doorways. She finds it faster and more maneuverable than her wheelchair, and makes her feel like more of the athlete she is and less like an invalid or as she puts it (and makes me grit my teeth): cripple.

Milking was pretty much all about sex for us as well as drawing me down, unless we’d had an argument or something. I couldn’t help seeing my sexy booby blob of a girlfriend fatly oozing off her flatboard onto the bathroom floor in front of me, visibly glad-to-see-me aroused as i was her.

She suckled me erotically and we got into a round of milky mouth-occupied sex before the sexy milking moved to one of its moderate ongoing arousal states amenable to conversation.

“New co-worker today” she commented.


“He was hired on before opening, but due to winding down his prior career with sufficient notice, today was his first day.”

“What’s his position?”

“Human diving board.”

“Didn’t anybody tell the city that they make diving boards that one can install?” i snickered.

“There’s a state mandate to keep as many people as possible gainfully employed and off public assistance.”

“You just now said his starting delay was due to needing to wrap up a prior career, so how does this apply to him?”

“Unavoidable issues of sexual harassment, similar to what i would engender if i worked somewhere where people got overly worked up over huge, visible nips and areolae.”

“Isn’t that everywhere you go in public?” i grinned, grabbing and grope-squeezing her front pair.

Uuuunnfff! Do that some more, later, please.”

“Sure thing.”

“So anyway, it was getting to the point where Ed was too much a distraction at his former job. He knew this weeks if not months ago, hence the reason he was looking, and applied.”

“What makes him the one for this unusual position?”

“Mmmmm, let’s get into some unusual position and get it on!”

We did. It was good.

Eventually Dani continued her explanation.

“Envision the fattest sea lion you can imagine.”


“Now double that vision in size and weight.”

“Ohhh my. Alright.”

“Now put that sea lion in light human skin like ours, and put some wispy white hair and normal human features on that otherwise-sea-lion head.”

“Got it.”

“Now add a 2 m long arcing schlong, circumcised. Like a giant curved pipe segment on a suspension bridge, big and wide and thick enough to be a diving board. That’s Ed.”

“How does he manage to stay that hard long enough?”

Dani’s grin as she used both hands to play with her absolutely huge front left nipple was all i needed to know. She nevertheless said, “I work near him in his line of sight when we need a diving board. And so far most of the time we need a diving board.”